


lightning strikes twice

by Somethin_Strange



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crushes, Everyone Has Issues, Fluff and Angst, Frenreylatta - Freeform, He/Themrey, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn, all of them share a single brain cell and they left it back in Black Mesa, everyone is gay and neurodivergent because i say so, im trying my best guys, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somethin_Strange/pseuds/Somethin_Strange
Summary: Tommy has fallen in love with his two best friends, and he really doesn't know what to do about that.
Relationships: Benrey/Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (background)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 103





	1. if i look in your eyes, i'll want you to hold me

_ Lightning never strikes the same place twice. _

A figure of speech, meaning something that’s extraordinary and unlikely to happen to the same person twice.

It feels like it should be accurate, but it’s not. Lightning strikes the same place quite frequently, in fact, since lightning strikes earth about eight million times a day; Out of a year of three-hundred sixty five days, lightning HAD to strike in the same place at least twice.

Maybe that’s the explanation for the strange, strange coincidences in the life of Tommy Coolatta.

Especially around two special people.

Tommy met both of the loves of his life at Black Mesa.

Both of these people either worked at Black Mesa or ended up working there.

Both of their first names started with six letters.

Tommy met both in the same hallway, thirty years apart.

And both of them, in Tommy’s opinion, are way WAY out of his league.

Strange, strange coincidences like that. 

It almost feels like it shouldn’t happen. Like lightning striking twice.

It was strangely perfect, in a way. Almost rom-com like.

The only problem is that Tommy does not realize that he is, in fact, in love.

Tommy sat at his birthday party, tracing his finger on the top of a soda can. He was lost in his thoughts as he stared off into space; The soda fizzing in the aluminum was a pleasant background noise for it all.

This was nice.

Things had been rough over the past week, with the resonance cascade and the desperate fight for survival. Quite honestly, it was a miracle that all of them survived.

There were quite a few times where Tommy had thought that they all weren’t going to make it out okay.

But they’d made it.

Tommy sighed happily, resting his head on his hand.

Benrey was probably going to show up soon, since he was able to respawn.

Tommy couldn’t wait.

Benrey was such a good friend, it was sad that they had to kill him that one time. But he’d come back, he always did. Benrey was just so strong and free like that, capable of literally anything he put his mind to.

Hopefully Benrey’s presence wouldn’t upset Mr. Freeman. No, that wouldn’t be good at all; Tommy didn’t want that beautiful smile to ever leave his friend’s face.

Tommy just didn’t understand why they couldn’t get along. Well, Tommy understood why they didn’t get along after the whole...arm thing...but before that? Benrey made Mr. Freeman laugh, Mr. Freeman made Benrey smile. Their playful bickering was cute.

God, both of them were so incredible. Their eyes, their laughs, their smiles. Benrey’s hoodies and gamer slang, Gordon’s fluffy hair and expressiveness. 

Tommy sighed happily, thinking of his two best friends.

But then he paused, sitting up-right.

These thoughts were a little bit more...passionate...than he was used to.

But oh well.

That just means that he was REALLY good friends with Gordon and Benrey!

Doesn’t it?

Tommy stood up, brushing himself off. 

These thoughts still felt...different than normal friendship thoughts.

But it was probably nothing!

...Right?


	2. thirty years apart but side by side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh. It's been a few weeks, huh. I promise I didn't forget about this I'm just swamped in schoolwork ajfitkjnyhgtio

The year is a far away number, the events a haze of nostalgia and half-forgotten by time’s continuous march.

A child ran through the halls of Black Mesa, ducking around corners and going up elevators. His dad was off talking with the scientists, and the child knew the spot he was supposed to meet him well.

Grown ups were always brushing by, giving him weird looks. He’d _tried_ to explore that cool room with all of the tubes, but the scientists had thrown him out and locked the door. Maybe that was a restricted area? But whatever it was, it was restricted for a stupid reason.

Whatever! Black Mesa was HUGE, with enough rooms for him to explore for years. So what if he couldn’t explore that cool tube room? He wasn’t salty about that, no, not at all.

The child turned another corner, into another hallway in Black Mesa’s endless maze.

And sitting against one of the walls was a kid.

If there was one thing the child never expected to ever, EVER see in Black Mesa, it was another kid. 

Black Mesa was rigidity, Black Mesa was full of grown-ups that put scanners on his head and took his heartbeat and tested his powers while whisking his dad away for private, no-kids-allowed talks.

So why was there another kid here?

The other kid looked up, waving. “Hey, what’s up?”

 _“Hello,”_ he signed back, _“Nothing much, really!”_

The other kid’s face scrunched in confusion. “Are you…deaf?” The other kid pointed at him and tapped their ear.

He shook his head. “ _No, I just like quiet talk better._ ”

The other kid shrugged. “Oh, okay. ‘M Benrey.”

“ _My name is Tommy!_ ”

Benrey patted the floor next to them, looking back at Tommy with a smile. 

“Wanna play Super Mario Bros? I brought my Gameboy.”

Tommy nodded excitedly, plopping down next to Benrey. True to his word, Benrey reached into their pocket and brought out a Gameboy, pressing the START button. The screen flashed neon green for a moment before returning to the normal home screen.

Tommy looked to Benrey, who shrugged again. “‘S kinda broken.”

Benrey loaded in the cartridge for Super Mario Bros, handing the Gameboy over to Tommy.

Tommy leaned against Benrey’s shoulder as he played, Benrey watching.

“C’mon bro, you can do it!” Benrey cheered. “Run, run!”

Tommy could barely even hear them as he attempted the same level over and over again, never quite being able to time the jumps right.

But it was all so...soft. The comforting feel of Benrey leaning his head on the top of Tommy’s, Benrey’s arm wrapped around Tommy’s shoulder. It was instant friendship, Tommy knew this, but maybe something more. Almost like a new home by Benrey’s side. The game overs were frustrating, but the anger was always quelled by Benrey’s words and the softness of their jacket.

As GAME OVER plastered the screen yet another time, Tommy made a small noise of dissatisfaction and he started again.

That is, until Benrey leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

Tommy paused, eyes going wide. His heart raced slightly and his face heated as his mind went utterly, completely blank.

He set the Gameboy gently on the floor before his hands flew into rapid-fire ASL.

“ _Did you just kiss me?_ ”

Benrey blinked owlishly.

“For good luck. It’ll help you not die this time.”

Tommy smiled softly, picking up the Gameboy again. “ _Thank you._ ”

“You’re welcome, bro.”

And even as Tommy could barely focus, his brain constantly replaying the kiss in his memory;

Benrey turned out to be right.

It worked.

And for hours it was just them two, each other’s gentle company, and levels Tommy blazed through with the best luck around.

**…**

The time is a few months ago, right before the week was a maelstrom of gunfire and yelling, all too soon considering how badly they wanted to put that week behind them.

But the moments before it were good.

Tommy is absent-mindedly walking down a hallway, the same hallway he’d sat in with Benrey thirty years earlier. He held a paper in his hand, trying to read the smudged ink. It was something about the Xen Project and something called a Resonance Cascade, a worst case scenario that almost certainly wasn’t going to happen.

He was suddenly aware of a person being in front of him, and Tommy stopped in his tracks,

And looked up.

And in front of him was probably one of the most beautiful men he’d seen in his entire life.

Not in... _that_ way, Tommy had known that he was asexual for years before that moment.

It was pure aesthetic attraction. Everything about him was just...perfect. Beautiful. Ethereal. The way his hair curled, the subtle details of his face, even when standing in profile.

The man stole the breath from Tommy’s throat before he could even say anything, his brain floundering on what to even say.

It eventually settled on the most asinine thing it could, his voice pitching higher as it struggled out a simple

“Hello?”

The man turned to face him, and Tommy’s brain started to short-circuit.

“...Hello.”

“My name is Tommy,” Tommy offered, mentally face-palming. 

The man looked confused, which was a reasonable reaction.

“Tommy? Okay. Wh- What department are you in?” The man’s voice was condescending, which only made Tommy’s brain to mess up even more.

The man was speaking more, but Tommy was too caught up in his own thoughts to actually hear what he was saying. Tommy only knew that he expected an answer when he went silent, focusing those beautiful eyes back on Tommy’s.

“...Yeah,” Tommy responded, mentally begging that to be the right answer. Finally his brain caught up and processed the man’s question, which was about the breakroom. “I like to read the-” _What’s the word what’s the word what’s the word-_ “-billboards there.”

He screamed internally at himself. _Corkboards, Thomas. The word is corkboard._

The man gave an incredulous look. “In th- The billboards? In the breakroom? Are they putting ads in th-”

“YEAH, FOLLOW ME!”

Tommy promptly took the opportunity to turn and run, blush hidden in his hands. 

_Damn it, Tommy, you’re supposed to be a man of science! You have degrees! A lot of degrees! You should be able to string words together rationally!_

But even as he struggled through another conversation with the man, Tommy’s thoughts were far away.

Because even if trouble was on the horizon, these soft moments with the man in the orange HEV suit were a tangible thing to hold on to.

**…**

The time is current but very late when Tommy gets a text in the Science Team Group Chat.

It’s from Gordon, with a picture of an asleep Benrey on a couch with a simple message.

**Gordon <3:** Benrey is back. Help help help

 **Gordon <3:** Guys I know its 4 am but please respond

To which Tommy responded by turning the phone back off and going back to sleep.


	3. pre-house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *walks in here*  
> im sorry i disappeared for almost two months, school grabbed me by the throat (insert pensive emoji)  
> hope you guys enjoy the chapter though :)  
> its sort of short but i tried my best on this one ^u^

Tommy, quite honestly, was too tired for this.

He and Benrey lay on Gordon’s couch, barely awake; Benrey’s head nuzzled into Tommy’s shoulder. They were warm.

Gordon paced in front of them, raking a hand through his hair. There was a constant stream of words words words coming out of his mouth, but Tommy was way too tired to make out any of them.

Benrey was warm and alive and so soft...Tommy could fall asleep if he wasn’t careful.

“-I don’t know what to do, he won’t  _ leave! _ ” Gordon said. He looked over at his friends, giving a disappointed huff. “And you two are spooning because of course you are-”

Tommy snapped awake, sitting straight up. Benrey pushed himself up as well, a snarky grin on his face.

“what, can’t bros spoon? you gonna police the bro cuddles now?” Benrey drawled, still half-laying on Tommy. 

Tommy opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again, slightly flustered. 

_ ‘Spooning’, slang for cuddling, two syllables, said in a half-teasing tone with slightly negative connotation. _

“Aren’t-Aren’t friends allowed to cuddle, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asked, tilting his head. Gordon sighed.

“Just...can we please focus on what’s important here? Benrey is back!” Gordon spread his hands, expecting a reaction. Tommy just blinked owlishly. “That’s not good!”

“Why not?”

“i think it's pretty good.”

“You’re not part of the-!” Gordon said, angry, before sighing again. “Don’t you have anywhere ELSE to go?”

“nope,” Benrey said, popping the p. “gordos’s couch is the only place for benny boy ay-tee-em.”

“Did...you just pronounce ‘atm’ out loud?”

“yep.” 

Tommy sat on the sort-of sidelines, watching them bicker. 

Gordon is cute when he’s annoyed.

“Um!” Tommy spoke up, “Maybe you can come to, uh, come to an agreement! Benrey can stay on the couch as long a-as long as he follows certain rules you lay out?”

“i’d be fine with that.”

Gordon brushed his curly hair back with his hand, looking exasperated. “We’ll...We’ll talk about this more, bro.”

Benrey turned back to Tommy and gave a lazy smile. “thanks though. ‘preciate it.”

Tommy just gave a small smile in return.

  
  


Tommy didn’t get much sleep that night.

He stared at his ceiling, replaying the moment in his head.

Gordon’s exasperated expression, so cute. Benrey’s smile, so lovable.

Tommy could almost get lost in the memory if he tried; The thoughts swirling around almost like sweet voice. Thinking of those two felt warm, a sheepish smile forming on Tommy’s face as he breathed out a small sigh.

He paused for a moment, the warmth fading.

Friendship. This had to be just a really good friendship. A bromance, as Benrey would put it.

It had to be, right?

Because quite honestly, Tommy didn’t quite know what to do otherwise.

He didn’t sleep well the rest of the night, plagued by constant thoughts of those two and then the nagging question of  _ why  _ those two dominated his mind so much.

All of it was just platonic. Just friendship, just bromance, just platonic.

...Right?


	4. post-house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all happy holidays  
> have some gay and some plot

Tommy had seen through a LOT of weird stuff in his time. He, his dad, and Benrey are all eldritch beings that survived a Resonance Cascade, after all.

He’s seen alien worlds and creatures beyond mortal comprehension, he’s seen glimpses of the Employers themselves.

But this?

This took the cake.

“Gordon!” Dr. Coomer piped up, “It seems all of our houses have combined!”

“WH-” Gordon stood there, looking around at his newly-expanded living room, “HOW?”

Bubby rolled his eyes. “Do you expect US to know? We woke up here, just like you.”

“hey,” Benrey said, still laying on the couch, “i think it’s pretty- its pretty pog. more space.”

“More space, less privacy.”

Gordon made a noise of confusion.

Tommy popped open the top of a soda can, sipping it as he watched the conversation. He didn’t know what had happened, but he had a pretty good guess.

He looked around the room, which was a strange patchwork mixture of Gordon, Bubby & Coomer, and Tommy’s living rooms. It was a bigger room, a bigger house; But it was also a Frankenstien’s monster of interior design.

He liked it.

There was one non-good thing, however. It wasn’t a _bad_ thing, per se, but it wasn’t _good_. It was that Tommy could feel the influence of his father’s Employers in the walls.

The Employers were creatures that should be more concerned with maintaining the very fabric of reality. So why did they take the time to merge all of their houses?

If they went out of their ways to do this, then it must be of utmost importance.

And to be completely honest, that sort-of scared Tommy.

Like. _Badly_.

But things were going okay, at least for the moment.

Everyone’s rooms were left intact, including Joshua’s. Sunkist was running around Joshua’s playroom, batting around a GI Joe figurine; At least the child and the dog seemed to be getting along.

And Gordon seemed to be grateful to not have to deal with Benrey alone; Tommy was grateful to spend more time with his friend.

Occurrences might be strange, but things were okay.

For a little while, at least.

**…**

Bubby and Tommy were sitting on the patchwork couch, idly chatting. It was nice like this, rather quiet. They were just sitting, drinking sodas and enjoying each other’s company.

“-And that’s how Harold and I burnt down a police station for our second date.” Bubby said, finishing xir story. He leaned back, taking a big sip of soda. “Tommy, do you have a partner?”

Tommy shakes his head no. “Not yet.”

“They wouldn’t even COMPARE to my Harold anyways,” Bubby boasted, light-hearted. “What kind of person do you like anyways?”

“Oh,” Tommy breathed out a sigh, leaning back. “I haven’t really, um, I haven’t really thought about it…?”

“EVERYBODY has a type.” Bubby took another sip of soda. “You don’t have to say if you don’t want to though.”

“No no, um, let me think for a moment.” Tommy leaned back as well. “Let me think.”

There was a beat of silence as Tommy thought.

“I think...I think I’d wa-I’d want some who’s kind. Caring. Like, uh, like a dad type, y’know? Someone real nice.” Tommy sighed dreamily. “And, uh, I’d want them to be level-headed. Someone who could keep their cool.”

Bubby paused before nodding slowly. “Mhm…?”

“But at the same time, I’d, um, I’d like someone fun. Someone who’d play- um, who’d play video games with me! Someone with a sense of humor. Someone who wouldn’t take things too seriously.”

“That ‘special person’ might be closer than you think,” Bubby said, laughing slightly.

Tommy paused, putting down his soda can. “Huh?”

“You DO realize that you just gave the descriptions of Benrey and Gordon, right?” Bubby gave xir friend a disbelieving look. “You HAVE to have realized.”

Tommy paused, face heating up.

“No! No. No I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you totally were!”

“No!”

“Yes!” Bubby was hysterically laughing at this point.

“No!”

“Deny it all you want but you TOTALLY did.”

Tommy cleared his throat, attempting to maintain the last shreds of his dignity.

“I’m- um- I’m going to get more soda.”

“You do that,” Bubby said as xe took a sip of soda, “You do that and think about your crush on Gordon and Benrey.”

“I do NOT have a crush on-!”

“Yes you totally do-!”

They playfully bickered like children, Tommy’s face flushed as Bubby laughed at him. It was teasing, surely. All of it was teasing.

Especially the part about the crush.

Because it _had_ to be.

Tommy did NOT have a crush, as childish as both of their bickerings sounded.

But as they argued, a doubt began to form in Tommy’s stomach.

But he didn’t have a crush.

ABSOLUTELY not.

Because that thought? Between employers and merged houses and playful arguments, the thought of a crush was the scariest thought of all.


	5. two time, stay friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiiii i know i've been gone for a while, just expect it at this point <3 /lh  
> hope you enjoy the chapter though ^u^

The main thing that occupied Tommy’s mind these days was the question  _ why _ .

Why?

Why were their houses merged while Darnold and Forzen’s houses remained unchanged?

Why was it so hard to pay attention to the video games they were playing when Benrey sat too close?

Why were checks showing up at their door from Black Mesa; Was it just hush money or was it something more?

Why was Gordon so touchy with his affection all of a sudden, and why did Tommy’s heart skip a beat whenever they made contact?

Why were Benrey and Gordon’s laughs and smiles so intoxicating, a siren’s call all their own?

Why wasn’t there an explanation for what Tommy was feeling?

Why wouldn’t these feelings go away?

Why did somebODY PUT THE MILK BACK IN THE FRIDGE, THERE WAS BARELY ANY LEFT, IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A CARTON, JUST BUY NEW MILK? 

Still.

Answers were few and far between nowadays, and nothing really made sense. But that was no matter...right? Of course right.

Why wouldn’t it be?

Of course, there was the irony of answering a question with yet another question, but what other choice did Tommy have?

There were other strange happenings to focus on anyways.

Our hero in the propeller cap was buying new milk at the store when the first text came.

It was from Gordon, and it read simply.

**Gordon <3:** Hey I know you can read sweet voice, can you translate this for me?

Attached was a picture of Benrey, three-quarters turned away from the camera, looking surprised at something; Sweet voice pouring out of his mouth. It went from a very bright green, maybe fuego green, to a less-bright yellow.

**Gordon <3:** They were gaming when it happened if it helps. They refused to tell me what it meant, haha. 

Tommy put down his phone for a second, translating in his head. He was quick with it, but it was quite an interesting process, so I’ll slow it down for you, dear reader.

First one would translate the color, which had relatively simple meanings. Green meant friendliness, happiness, and security; Yellow meant fear or surprise.

_ Green to yellow, safety to surprise, gaming while it happened... _

_ Aha! _ Tommy perked up, having come to an idea of what it meant.  _ Most likely surprise over being startled by an enemy in the game. That makes sense! _

But the way Tommy usually relayed it back to people was in rhyme. It was a useful mnemonic for the meanings of the colors back when Tommy was first starting to learn it, and it was useful now.

Plus, rhymes are fun to say.

_ Yellow, yellow, yellow, what rhymes with yellow? Bellow, cellow, dellow, fellow- _

_ Fellow! _

**Tommy:** Bright green to yellow means “don’t hurt a friendly fellow!” Most likely said at said video game!

**Gordon <3: ** Thanks man :)

Tommy got a moment of satisfaction from a job well done before getting another text.

**Gordon <3: ** Hes spittin out more balls and not telling me what they mean. Can you decode them again? Sorry

**Tommy:** Of course, it’s no problem! ^u^

Gordon sent yet another photo, this one of Benrey curled up under his arm. Eyes closed, just singing. Looking happy.

Tommy’s heart panged in a good way.

_ Bright pinkish-red, affection or embarrassment. More of a rose color. _

**Tommy:** “A shade that’s rosey means I’m feeling cozy!” Benrey’s fine and happy, Mr. Freeman!

**Gordon <3: ** Good, thanks bud /gen :)

Tommy finally progressed to actually selecting the milk he wanted and holding it in his hands when his phone buzzed again.

**Gordon <3: ** Okay now he’s asleep but he had one last message and I’m curious. One last decode?

**Tommy:** Sure, send it over!

What was sent over was an image of an asleep Benrey, leaning heavily on Gordon’s shoulder; Pink sweet voice hanging low in the air.

_ Pink like blush means that I have a- _

Tommy paused. That couldn’t be it, right? It couldn’t be.

It could also be translated as  _ I’m feeling flushed _ , but both options meant the same thing.

Tommy bit his lip.

**Tommy:** I don’t think he’d want me to tell you, Mr. Freeman.

**Gordon <3: ** What? Come on, it can’t be THAT bad

**Tommy:** I’m just respecting their privacy! Ask them when they wake up. :)

**Gordon <3: ** Thanks anyway, man.

**Tommy:** Anytime! :)

Tommy just stared at the phone for a second, unsure of what to think. Why did his heart hurt so badly? It’s not like he was anything more than friends with the two of them.

Why did he really, well,  _ care  _ if Benrey had a crush? Other than the obvious of them being best friends; Benrey’s happiness being Tommy’s happiness.

So why did this happiness hurt so badly for Tommy?

This all made no sense.

He paid for the milk and left quickly, phone in the front pocket of his jeans. The air was cold, very cold; Making everything even more disorienting than before.

Tommy stood still on the side of the sidewalk, trying to take it all in.

Cold air and sweet voice and text messages; Milk cartons and crushes and hurting.

The man took a deep breath, fishing his phone out of his pocket again; Scrolling down his contact list until he found one very particular name.

And with a push of a button, he gave Darnold a call.


	6. but you like her better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentine's day, have some mild angst

Darnold didn’t pick up.

Tommy didn’t have any hard feelings about it, both were caught up in their own lives. Just the other day Darnold was describing to Tommy all about his new job; And the new coworkers that came with.

It reminded Tommy of a place he used to intern at; Back before he had taken the offer from Black Mesa.

He still wonders what happened to that place, though. Aperture Science.

They’re probably fine.

Still.

Darnold’s pre-recorded message spoke into Tommy’s ear. 

_“It’s- It’s Darnold! I, uh. I sadly can’t pick up the phone right now, but. Feel free to leave me a message and I’ll make sure to...call you back. Bye!”_

Tommy pressed the end call button before the voicemail could start though, he didn’t really feel like leaving anything.

Don’t get him wrong here, he loved talking to Darnold! And Tommy really wished that Darnold would pick up!

But he was just...tired. 

Maybe it was just a time to think, not talk.

Tommy continued to walk down the sidewalk, holding the plastic bag with the milk. The air was cold, still cold; Not helped by Tommy’s poor choice of jacket today. (He knew he should’ve gone with the thick jacket, but he’d already been out the door by then.)

He kept on his journey home, located in that strange mix of a neighborhood that was 68% city and 32% suburb; The kind that Gordon always said would make a great setting for a movie.

Gordon…

…

...Gordon...most likely did not reciprocate Benrey’s feelings.

Not at the moment, at least.

It was a hard truth to come to terms with, but it was true. And obviously, Gordon didn’t owe Benrey returned feelings or anything like that.

And Benrey probably already knew all of this.

So why was Tommy hanging onto that fact so hard? Clutching onto it like a person adrift at sea clutches a raft.

It wasn’t a _good_ fact. In actuality, it was probably getting in the way of the happiness of his close friend.

His heart hurt for Benrey’s plight, but at the same time was slightly comforted.

It wracked Tommy with a strange, sickly sort of guilt that he just couldn’t shake; With nobody to talk to it about.

 _God_ , he wished Darnold had picked up the phone.

What was wrong with him?

Why couldn’t he just be neutral about this?

These matters didn’t even concern him, so why the hell was he so hung up about them?

None of this made sense.

Tommy paused in the middle of the sidewalk, silent.

He took one step forward, then paused. 

There was a tiny park to the left of him that he ducked into; Sitting down on the cold metal of a swingset. School wasn’t out yet, so he was just...alone in a playground, swinging on a swing set with a carton of milk on the ground next to him.

Now that would be a strange sight to come across.

He knows that it looked silly, but the repetitive motion was calming. Back, forth. Back, forth.

Plus, he really didn’t think he could go home just yet. Let the milk spoil, who cares?

When Tommy was a kid, he used to believe that he could touch the stars on these swings. That if he pushed off from the ground hard enough, he’d swing up so far that he’d be through the stratosphere. That he’d hold a star in his bare hands, holding it close to his chest, feeling the warmth; Returning back to earth like a meteor.

Tommy used to repeat that idea a lot as a kid. Of somehow holding a piece of the galaxy in his hands. Of affecting it in some way. Of getting there.

That’s why he worked in Black Mesa’s Rockets Department at one point.

…

...He knows better now.

Tommy can hold pieces of the galaxy in his hands at home, anyway; Because he could see galaxies themselves in Benrey and Gordon’s eyes, in their smiles, their being.

_Stop that. They’re beautiful, yes, but friends. Just friends._

Whenever he’d talk about things like that as a kid, about the galaxies and rockets and galaxies, his father would listen; A small yet warm smile on his face as he listened to his son ramble on and on about impossible dreams.

“Well,” his father would always say, “things always have, a... _peculiar_ way of working them-selves out in the end. Of ending up exactly where they should be.”

Was Tommy exactly where he should be?

Thirty-seven years old with PHDs, swinging on a swing set with a carton of milk on the side; Avoiding home?

Maybe things just haven’t worked themselves out like they should yet.

Maybe he just has to keep believing that they will.

Maybe it’s just a little longer of a wait before he ends up where he should be.

Maybe it’s just one more day, one more month, one more year, one more minute.

Maybe if Tommy keeps repeating it, he’ll actually start to believe it.

Or maybe not.

Who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its come to my attention that, in my effort to keep the work's tone light-hearted, i really didn't give Benrey and Gordon's reunion the seriousness it deserved. if the majority of you guys would like, i will go back and re-write it. just let me know and i will! have a great day! :)

**Author's Note:**

> you can't outrun the gay, Tommy.  
> Kudos are appreciated, but I love love love comments! They really inspire me to keep writing, so if you liked it, please leave a comment!  
> Have a great day, y'all! <3


End file.
